


A Sort of Forever War

by manic_intent



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Exhibitionism, F/M, Not so much lover's spats but all out warfare, That AU where always-a-girl Peter and Yondu have the most epic squabbles known to the 'verse, f!Peter, genderbent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-19 23:57:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2407622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manic_intent/pseuds/manic_intent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gamora had expected the worst when the Ravagers had detained them upon picking them up outside Knowhere, and her fears escalated when she was held back by the crew while Yondu pinned Penny to the bulkhead and snarled right in her face. Penny, naturally, didn't seem intimidated in the least, even with her dirty blonde hair plastered to her cheeks and shoulders with sweat, squirming and making what looked like a credible attempt to knee the Captain of the Ravagers in the genitals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Sort of Forever War

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:  
> They don't often fight, but when they do the consequences are epic in scale.
> 
> Multiple nation emergencies, entire stations/ships going into lockdown are par the course when they fight.
> 
> Of course, no one really expects the latest one to end with Penny saving the universe and getting declared a hero
> 
> +bonus points for Yondu complaining about not getting his record cleared and fem Peter responding along the lines of "well, maybe you should have done the damn dishes then"
> 
> +half the ravagers have bets going on the outcome of the latest domestic  
> ==  
> I don't really work very well with bonus points, but I think I've gotten the gist of it? :3

Gamora.

Gamora had expected the worst when the Ravagers had detained them upon picking them up outside Knowhere, and her fears escalated when she was held back by the crew while Yondu pinned Penny to the bulkhead and snarled right in her face. Penny, naturally, didn't seem intimidated in the least, even with her dirty blonde hair plastered to her cheeks and shoulders with sweat, squirming and making what looked like a credible attempt to knee the Captain of the Ravagers in the genitals.

And then the utterly unexpected had happened - in the middle of Yondu haranguing Penny about having saved her from being eaten by the crew, running through the tracks of what sounded like a very old and familiar argument, by the look of how Penny rolled her eyes instantly the moment Yondu had started... in the middle of that, Penny had abruptly cut Yondu off by somehow twisting up against his grip and kissing him hard on the mouth.

Things deteriorated quickly. As Gamora watched, unsure whether to be horrified or fascinated, Yondu had groaned and crushed Penny against the bulkhead, hiking her legs up around his waist in a move that was far too practiced to be remotely innocent, and then they had stumbled off, Penny's small hands fisted in Yondu's collar, mouths still enthusiastically and loudly locked.

"All right, boys, show's over." A skinny, possibly Xandarian male said gruffly, clapping his hands, and the rest of the crew muttered among themselves before wandering away. The ones holding her still let her go, carefully, and stepped back, even as the Xandarian sauntered over, making a deft gesture of greeting with his thumb and forefinger. Not Xandarian, then. A Chiltarian.

When Gamora made the appropriate gesture in response, the Chiltarian male grinned at her. "Suppose I'm surprised that you knew that."

"I've had quite an education," Gamora said, a little evasively. 

"So I've heard. I'm Kraglin Obfonteri. First mate aboard the _Eclector_." Kraglin gestured for her to follow him. "You Penny's latest squeeze? Or a friend?"

"Ally," Gamora corrected, then she hesitated. Penny had just risked her life to save Gamora's: she had cut it far too close, out in vacuum. If the Ravagers hadn't responded as quickly as they had... "Friend," she said again, a little awkwardly, and if not for the cybernetic enhancements in her eyes, she wouldn't have picked up the way Kraglin's mouth twitched up briefly with amusement. 

"The lot of you made a fuckin' mess of Knowhere, that's for damn sure." Gamora followed Kraglin up a couple of decks, until they were out onto the surprisingly compact flightdeck of the Ravager mothership. Despite its imposing outward appearance, everything in the _Eclector_ was neat and compact, designed along clearly Zatoan lines, all flowing, hollowed out curves, mimicking the Wyrm Paths that riddled underground Centauri. 

Outside, through the viewport, a very familiar M-class ship was cruising closer, and as she watched, a small figure in an enviro-suit pulled itself out of an airlock, moving with deft surety up to the top of the _Milano_. Drax. 

He was also holding Rocket's Hadron Enforcer. 

"Mind calling off your friends?" Kraglin asked, very dryly. "Seein' as we're _all_ on this old boat together, and the cap'n gets into a real shitty mood whenever someone punches a hole through the hull." 

"Mind telling me exactly what was happening back there?" Gamora retorts evenly. 

"Uh," Kraglin scratched at his chin. "Exactly just about everything you saw. Those two. Usually they're pretty good. But when they get going, well fuck. Shit burns down."

" _Planets_ burn down," offered the comms officer, a dour-looking pink Kree with her dark hair shaved and oiled into a spiny crest over her head. 

"So," Gamora struggles to understand, even as in the distance, Drax starts loading the Hadron Enforcer. "They're... a... pair?" She can't really bring herself to see it. "But Penny's... and females..." 

"That's with females. Cap'n isn't possessive in that area. Doesn't have the bits to be, so he says. But you've never seen Penny hit on male anything, have you?"

Come to think of it, Gamora hadn't, though she had simply pegged it down to Penny's strange Earther tendencies. "So this. It is entirely. Consensual?" 

"Them, or us?" one of the Ravagers behind Kraglin asks, and Kraglin shoots a warning glare over his shoulder. 

"You wanna go stand outside Yondu's cabin and listen to them getting their consent on, knock yourself out. Actually, you probably don't even need to stand outside the cabin. Anywhere on Crew Deck-2 would work. _After_ you call off your crazy friends. Deal?"

Gamora sighed. "Give me the comm." 

Two hours later, Penny stumbled into the aft storage space that had been temporarily cleared out as a not-quite-prisoners holding area, looking rumpled but thankfully clean. She also had a new and pronounced limp. "Oh, uh, hey guys. Thanks for coming to get us." She grinned, and critically, Gamora wondered exactly what the Zatoan Captain saw in Penny. 

Penny was too skinny by Zen-Whoberi standards, and too tall, her thick hair unruly enough to be a mane, her red mouth a touch too full and quick with a sharp grin. Her face was feminine and soft, her nose a little too snub, her-

"Wow," Penny said, into the silence. "Is my allspeak malfunctioning, or are you guys being real quiet?"

"Seriously." Rocket spoke up first. "You and Yondu? What the hell?"

"Hey, before you get all judgmental on me," Penny raised her gloved hands, palms up, "You should first see what he's packing in his pants." She leered, and Rocket rolled his eyes. 

"I am Groot," Groot said philosophically, and Rocket's expression froze, turning into one of slow horror.

"No. Seriously? Zatoans?" 

"What?" Gamora asked.

"What about Zatoans?" Drax asked.

" _Anyway_ ," Penny said hastily. "We still have to come up with a plan. So I was thinking-"

"How did it happen?" Drax asked, his tone still mild. "You and the Captain of the Ravagers? Is it something about Zatoans?"

Penny smirked, even as Rocket yelped, "I _really_ don't want to know!" 

"That crest has way more uses than just as a means to move that arrow around, just sayin'." 

The comment stuck in Gamora's mind like a worm, and to her total irritation and embarrassment, she ended up cornering Kraglin, much later after the debrief, to raise the question again in a hopefully subtle way. Sometimes, Gamora's curiosity got the better of her. 

No one's perfect. 

"Eh," Kraglin squinted at her. "How did they hook up?"

" _Why_ did they... do so." 

"Mm. The odds are 'bout five to one right now that the cap'n fell in love with that girl when he first saw her shoot the eye out of a Badoon Commandant at thirty m's with an ion blaster, and about eight to one that Penny fell in love with the cap'n when he gave her the _Milano_. But I personally," Kraglin added reflectively, "Think it had somethin' to do with a wild weekend over in the Oort quarter when she'd first done and turned eighteen cycles. Shit goes down in Oort, you know?"

Gamora did not in fact 'know', and as such, asked the first question in her mind. "The 'odds'?"

"Sure. Space is fuckin' big. We got to do things to pass the time goin' from A to B, and bettin's a good way to go that don't often lead to property damage. Often." 

"Penny said something about," Gamora couldn't believe she was about to say this, "Yondu's crest."

"That old story? Shit, girl. Penny herself made up half the stories about the two of them, and I think Yondu and the rest of us are probably good for the rest. Crest got nothin' to do with arrows. Or sex." Kraglin grinned. "But it's the Oort. I've got twenty creds in the pool on that. And fifty for them resolvin' their current problems by burning down key bits of Xandar. Pretty good odds by the sound of it." 

"This... normally _happens_?"

"Yeah. Us Ravagers, we got a bad rep. And a lot of that's because of the fuckin' shitstorm that kicks up whenever those two get into a scrap." 

"The business with the Rigellian Survey Conglomerate?"

"Pssh. That? That was just some kick up that started over Yondu's snoring, I think it was. Seems the boss didn't want to admit that he snored. Even with recorded evidence." 

"The Mephitisoid incident?"

"I don't remember that one. Oh! Yeah. Penny dyed the fur on one of Yondu's dash toys pink and melted bits off another one trying to move its joints. She was pretty damn drunk at the time. _And_ high. Wouldn't apologise, neither, even when she sobered up."

"So," Gamora said, as calmly and as evenly as she could, "This entire business about the Infinity Stone..."

"Yeah, we were en-route to pick that up from Morag ourselves, but what with one thing leading to another, I s'pose Yondu shoulda' seen it coming." 

"What thing led to another?"

"Eh." Kraglin scratched at his temple. "Well, would you fuckin' know it? I've forgotten. Does it matter?"

"None of you are remotely sane," Gamora muttered.

Drax.

"You and Yondu Udonta," Drax said, when Penny was walking through the crew deck, fresh out of the aerosonic cleanser, and Penny flinched, looked briefly hunted, then sighed and marched over to sit down by the table.

Drax had been in the middle of polishing his blades, in anticipation of the battle to come on Xandar, and he set them carefully down on the flexsteel surface when he caught Penny's eyes darting towards them. "They are not weighted as well as they should be." 

"Uh. Yeah. Ravagers aren't really ones for melee weaponry. As long as it's sharp, they think it's good enough." Penny said, and hunched her shoulders. "You really want to talk about Yondu?"

"Yes." Drax eyed Penny thoughtfully. "Females are revered in my culture. It is rare that they choose to mate with a male, rather than with each other. It is my understanding however that among the stars, such a practice is the exception."

"Uh." Penny blinked for a moment, then she offered him a wry, soft smile. "Then you must've been pretty damn awesome, Drax."

"I do not believe so," Drax said, perfectly seriously. He had always felt himself proof that there was a broad degree of profound randomness to the mating drive of his species. "Still, my personal history aside, while the 'verse has many cultures, it appears that the one aboard the _Eclector_ is patriarchal?"

"It's more Yondu-archal than anything." 

"There is a power difference. Between yourself and this Yondu. And I believe that you were taken into the Ravagers when you were a child. We are now friends and I must know. When Yondu bedded you, did he compel you?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa there, big boy," Penny cut in, her eyes narrowing for a moment as she studied his face, then suddenly, she let out a sudden, wry laugh that unsettled Drax into straightening up. "What a funny 'verse this is. You know, you're the first person to run this by me, like, _ever_ , and you're an ex-con known as _the Destroyer_."

Drax often found it difficult to parse Penny's speech patterns, even with the allspeak. "I am not running. I am seated, and stationary."

"Look," Penny patted Drax's arm gently. "I appreciate the thought, OK? But I can take care of myself. And the people who taught me how to do that? They're that bunch of rag-tag, downright treacherous thieving assholes. But they're family, where it counts." 

"So. You and Yondu Udonta." Drax persisted. 

"He writes," Penny said, her tone perfectly serious, "The most awesome poetry."

"Truly?" Drax asked, somewhat mystified. His species had never particularly been one for the so-called 'finer' arts, but he was aware that the appreciation of such was integral to several other cultures. 

"Yeah, totally. Like, imagery and rhyming and stuff," Penny grinned, as though amused at a joke that Drax could not see. "That stuff's potent on girls."

"Perhaps I could read some of this 'poetry'." 

"Uhh, no man. It's, uh, totally personal." 

"Ah." Drax nodded. "Then my apologies for asking to read it."

"Nope. That's okay. Ask away."

"Does he write this poetry in Zatoan? I was under the impression that the Zatoan language is symbol-based."

Penny's expression crinkled a little, as she took in a soft gulping breath. "Yondu's pretty multilingual. You could ask him about it maybe. The next time you see him. Why?"

"I was curious."

"Uh huh. Well. Yondu's got a certain type, and, sorry buddy, you're not it."

"It is a different sort of curiosity," Drax said, after a long moment spent trying to understand Penny's words. "Unlike Gamora's, my species was not exterminated. Someday I will meet others of my species again, as I hope to, after our business with Ronan is complete. When Ronan's blood has wiped my life-debt clean, I may speak to other females of my species once more. This 'poetry' you speak of may help."

"... Okay." Penny blinked rapidly, and tapped her fingers with seeming nervousness on the table. "Jesus, Drax. I didn't know. Um. Look. I'm kinda an asshole. I was pulling your leg, all right?"

"You were not touching my leg."

"Actually, nevermind," Penny gave up. "Um. After all this, sure. We could go see your homeworld, maybe. I've never been there." 

Drax talked to Penny for a comfortable while about his homeworld, until Rocket called Penny over to switch piloting shifts. Groot nodded gravely at Drax as it swung itself towards the lower crew deck, with Rocket yawning as he trailed behind, and Drax waited for them to leave before bringing up the ship's comm link. 

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Yondu picked up the call instantly when Drax pinged the _Eclector_ , and the Captain of the Ravagers blinked for a moment in surprise when he saw Drax through the holovid, before frowning. "Oh, it's the asshole who was thinking about poking a few holes into my ship. Whadda you want? Is this about Penny?"

"I was told," Drax said solemnly, "That you write poetry."

" _What_."

Rocket & Groot.

"So, you and Yondu, huh." Rocket said, when Penny poured half a cup of water into Groot's pot.

Denarian Dey had kindly stocked the new _Milano_ 's cargo hold with a whole host of helpful supplies deemed useful to a spacefaring ship, including the latest Xandarian mechanical supplies and spare parts. Rocket had been spending the last week carefully upgrading the Hadron Enforcer in the bulkhead of the crew deck. So far, nothing had exploded.

"Yup." Penny sat down beside the workbench, and balanced her cheeks on her palms. "Go on. I know you're dying to ask me about his dick."

"That's just... just nasty," Rocket wrinkled his nose. "Seriously, Penny. Sometimes I think you need therapy. I meant, are we gonna have to expect to see Ravagers nosing after us?"

"Of course not. They've got shit to do. Since Yondu's down a big score, he's probably balancing the books by skimming a few trade conglomerates somewhere. It's pretty complicated feeding, housing and arming that many people."

"So the two of you aren't. Exclusive."

"Rocket," Penny said, in a very syrupy tone that made his fur rise, "You are a very handsome animal, you know, but if I were to go for that kind of thing-"

" _Penny_ -"

"-I have to say, I'm real sorry," Penny said, with a dramatic sigh, "We can never be together, because your dick can't compare to Yondu's."

"... You have _serious_ issues, you crazy female." Rocket rolled his eyes, and Groot rustled his leaves as though to punctuate his statement. "I was just checking to see that we aren't going to have to deal with a _seriously_ pissed off Ravager Captain whenever he finds out about you fucking around with all those female Krylorians."

"Nah. Yondu and I, we're not like that. It wasn't about his dick, though," Penny added, a little thoughtfully. "We're not exactly exclusive. Just... kind of. Sometimes we need time out, you know?"

"Or planets catch fire?" Rocket asked dryly. 

He had spent a very instructive hour talking to a handful of Ravagers about the insane and surprisingly lethal courtship dance that Yondu and Penny were embroiled in. He had gone away with the impression that it wasn't so much as a dance as a complicated series of escalating and de-escalating skirmishes in some sort of forever war. 

"Ruu's been talking behind my back again, I see." Penny smiled lazily at Rocket. "But yeah. You know how it goes. You can love somebody but you don't always got to like them."

"... That," Rocket observed, "Makes no fucking sense at all, Quill."

"He gave me my first blaster. Sweet little cell-loading neutron piece. A girl won't forget a man like that." 

"That's it?" Rocket asked incredulously, even as Groot rustled again. "He bribed you with Rigellian weaponry?"

"Hey, I never claimed to be particularly profound."

"Yeah?"

"Okay. Okay. Maybe he also threw in a Sh'iar tactical handcannon." 

Rocket's tail twitched in interest, even as he ears pricked up. "Really? I suppose that makes sense."

Penny grinned. "I know, right?"

"So how come you didn't have the handcannon in your armoury?" Rocket asked, a little reproachfully. He would've liked to get his paws on something that sweet. "Could'a made facing Ronan a lot easier, just saying."

"Uh well, I was pretty young, so I wasn't allowed to carry it onto the _Milano_. After a while, I guess I just never got around to moving it aboard." Penny winked at Rocket. "Someday I'll get to it."

"You're full of shit, girl," Rocket decided, but just in case, when Penny wandered off, he brought up the ship's comm link and pinged the _Eclector_. 

As he had thought, Yondu answered the call personally, straightening up and then looking irritable when he saw that it was Rocket. "Now what?"

"Hey, loverboy. I hear you've got a Sh'iar tactical handcannon on board. Mind if I take a look at it the next time we're in the vicinity?"

Yondu hesitated for a long moment, then he said, very slowly, even as Rocket heard Kraglin start to laugh in the background, "Has that woman been spreading stories about my dick again?"

Penny.

U'kroga had once been a Rigellian generation ship, but it was now it was more of a service station, doing a slow circuit of the Nu Scorpii system. It was an old hulk of a thing, sold to a private operator over a couple of centuries back, when its colonists had boarded a new generation ship equipped with the latest in stardrive tech.

Now it made most of its money off the mostly unlicensed gambling, drugs and trafficking circuits, a halfway port for most independent spacers looking to refuel, resupply and let off some steam on their way to illegally prospecting star iron and other vaguely insalubrious activities in the Nu Scorpii system. Penny had given the crew a few days of shore leave, and had gone to sit in the gigantic living semi-fungal grove that still took up over half of the life deck of the ship, colourful, richly scented, and ancient. 

U'kroga was cycling into its night cycle when a gruff voice behind her said, "I've told you about coming in here by yourself, girl."

It was all Penny could do to play it suave, but she looked up a little too quickly into Yondu's scowling face. "Something about inviting trouble, I think it was. Relax," she added, when Yondu glared, the bioluminescence in his crest flaring a dull red for a moment. "I'm armed." 

Yondu shook his head slowly, settling down beside her on the moss, and as always, the sheer _presence_ that the Ravager Captain exuded seemed almost palpable all about him, even in the earthy silence of the fungal grove. "You're not meant to bear arms outside of the damn port, girl. Are you _really_ looking for trouble?"

"I'm always looking for trouble," Penny drawled, with as cheeky a grin as she could manage, because if anything really pushed Yondu's buttons where she was concerned it was insubordination, and it had been a long, lonely set of months chasing cold leads out in the 'verse. 

Strangely enough, Yondu merely stared at her for a long while. "You've been poking your nose where you shouldn't," he said finally. "Why're you chasing the Spartoi?"

The question is so out of left of field that Penny blinked at Yondu for a moment. "Uh. Why not? They're First Races, aren't they? Probably good for a score or three."

Yondu stared at her, clearly unimpressed. "Out with it."

"Okay, fine." Penny grumbled, because although, fine, she might toe insubordination now and then - maybe spectacularly so - she _does_ know Yondu's limits, and he _is_ still her Captain. "I got bioscanned in Xandar. Seems I'm half Spartax. Happy now? I'm a freak," she added, a little bitterly. "Guess Krieg and the rest had the right of it all this while."

"Krieg's a krutacking dick," Yondu shrugged, but to Penny's surprise, instead of telling her to suck it up, he cautiously shifted closer, curling an arm around her lower back, tense as though expecting to be tased or worse at any moment. When Penny sighed and snuggled closer, Yondu's big, furnace-warm palm splayed out over her hip, hot even through a couple layers of thermaleather.

"So," Penny said lightly, in an attempt to hide her confused gratification. Yondu wasn't really one for gestures of tenderness. "This is weird."

"Enjoy it while it lasts." 

"You're hardly ever nice to me."

Yondu muttered something under his breath. "I meant it. The path you're on now, it'll burn you soon. Someday." 

"I can take care of myself. You should know." 

"I've got some big scores lined up. You should take one of them instead of chasing down First Races rumours."

"...wait," Penny said slowly, squirming up to squint at Yondu's face. "Are you feeling guilty about something?"

"When was the last time I felt guilty about anythin'?"

"You didn't look a damn sight surprised when I said I was half... you _knew_ I was half-Spartax! What the fuck, Yondu!" 

Yondu closed his eyes briefly. "I fuckin' hate your instincts."

"Is this why you grabbed me off Earth?" 

"Kinda." 

"I _knew_ there was something fucked up about your cover story," Penny growled. "What the _hell_. Was it a paid job? Who paid?"

"That's none o' your business," Yondu retorted flatly. 

"The _hell_ it isn't!" When Yondu simply glowered at her, Penny let out a long, harsh breath. "Oh man. All this while I thought... who paid you to grab me? My real dad? Some Spartax alien? Was that it?" 

"I said it was none o' your business, girl." 

"Sometimes... I... _really_ -" Penny shoved Yondu roughly, or tried to - for all that Yondu looked vaguely human-shaped, he had a body mass that was noticeably denser, and all she did was make her palms sting and piss him off. Baring his teeth, Yondu twisted around, pinning her to the moss, but Penny had been taught well by Kraglin and a string of Ravagers and bar brawls, and she was already twisting up her knee, catching Yondu in the stomach, and as he yelped, she knifed the sharp of her palm up into his throat, knocking him off balance. 

Penny ended up sitting on Yondu's back, knees digging into his spine, locking an arm behind him and smirking, breathless and grinning, even as Yondu squirmed in her grasp for a moment before going still, cursing. 

"Maybe you should start talking." Penny suggested.

"Yeah _aaagh_ fuckfuckfuck-" Yondu hissed as Penny twisted his arm a little harder, the way Ruu had once showed her. 

"This really doesn't have to go this way," Penny added, with mock regret, and scratched the nails of her free hand playfully over Yondu's crest, which scudded a line of yellow, then purple, as Yondu let out a harsh gasp and shifted uncomfortably against the moss.

"I'm going to make you _pay_ for this," Yondu growled.

"Aww, _sweetheart_ , usually it'll be fun to play along, light up a few boring parts of the 'verse, but right now," Penny said sharply, twisting Yondu's arm again, "I _want to know about my father_."

"Shit!" Yondu grit his teeth, then he jerked bodily under her when Penny leaned up and deliberately ran her tongue over the edge of his crest. "Aw, fuck. You're not playin' fair."

Behind Yondu's line of sight, Penny grinned to herself. If there was anything that pushed even more of Yondu's buttons, more sharply, it was insubordination _and_ violence, and by the way Yondu's chest was rising and falling like a bellows, she guessed that her Captain was, by now, extremely turned on. Good. 

"Playing fair is for the Nova Corps." 

"Fine _aaagh_ fine, fine, fuck." Yondu growled. "Your daddy paid us to grab you, all right?"

"Spartax?"

"Yeah. And he was a fuckin' major jackass about it. That should have given me some krutackin' clue about how _you_ were gonna turn out."

"So what happened? Why'd you break the contract?"

"Because Kraglin and I have a jackass limit," Yondu growled, "And halfway on the jump back to the dropoff, the Badoon turned that entire zone into contested space, all right? Still is. So we asked for more money to run the gauntlet, he said no, we told him to fuck off, he told _us_ to fuck off, and there we were, less a score, plus one skinny crazy little kid. Happy now?"

"The Badoon?" Penny echoed. "Is that why they chased us for years? Went around trying to fuck up our scores?"

"What makes you think tha _aaaagh_ fuckfuckfuck all _right_ would you _fuckin' stop that_! They weren't chasing _us_ ," Yondu said, grinding his teeth and squirming again. "They were chasing _you_. Pretty sure your daddy pissed them off somehow. Not sure. But they're still looking for you, all right? And they've got ways through even the encrypted darknet. If the Worldmind's pinged anyone with a DNA query, the Badoon would'a heard. Especially if they got wind of anyone sniffing after the Spartax."

"I'm the only Earther out in the wider 'verse as far as I know," Penny said, a little puzzled. "They could've found me anytime, easy."

Yondu rolled his eyes. "The 'verse is huge, and in case you haven't fuckin' noticed, girl, Asgardians, the Vanir, Xandarians and Chiltarians look pretty similar to Earthers. The Badoon knew we'd nabbed someone off the Earth. They didn't know what you looked like. Happy?" 

True. Reluctantly, Penny let up the pressure, and immediately found herself pinned to one of the gray, broad stalks of the fungal stems behind her. She grinned at Yondu's glowering face, daring him to yell at her, but he kissed her instead, shoving his tongue into her mouth and growling when Penny nipped him for it. 

Penny was starting to grow wet by the time Yondu's kisses grew gentler, slower, and she shivered and scrabbled at his shoulders as Yondu shoved his hands up under her coat to cup her breasts through her vest. "You roomin' around here?" Yondu asked her, his voice hoarse and gruff with lust. 

"Nowhere close enough." Yondu sucked in an irritable breath that broke into a groan when Penny reached out to cup the tent in his breeches. "Just fuck me here first. Second round in the room, if you want to get civilised." 

The bioluminescence in Yondu's crest shuddered into a darker purple. " _Here_?"

"No one will come by." That was a lie: the groves were a fairly popular meeting and recreational zone, but Penny was off in one of the more drab, quieter corners, and besides, it was growing late on the night clock. "We can be quick."

Also, she really, really didn't want to wait. 

"Fuck," Yondu breathed, and kissed her again, picking her up and tugging her into his lap, shuddering as Penny grinned into the kiss and ground her ass against Yondu's cock. She could feel it through the thermaleather, the size, the alien, rippling pulse of it, and Penny whimpered as she felt herself grow wetter yet, fumbling with her belt.

Yondu was faring better with his, already fumbling with his breeches, gulping in strangled gasps of the thin air as Penny grinned wickedly at him and dragged off one gravboot, then another, shimmying out of her breeches by the time Yondu got his cock out, already rock hard. Unlike humans, Zatoan skin didn't flush, and Yondu was the same colour all over, skin almost unnaturally smooth, baring his teeth again as she rubbed her wet cunt against him teasingly, lazily. 

Hands settled on Penny's hips, but like always, Yondu would never force the issue - on some days, she'd teased him for hours while he swore at her and squirmed but never did much more than that. Today Penny was too hungry to mess with Yondu, however, and they both let out strangled moans as she took him into her, enjoying the stretch of him, the fit, the way Yondu's head snapped back against the fungal stem with his teeth clenched tight, the strength of him, coiled to a thin edge just for her. 

"Missed this," Penny gasped out, and laughed when Yondu cursed again in a garbled voice and shivered as she took him all the way to the hilt. God, she loved how _big_ he was, thick and long, and Penny moaned and arched as she felt Yondu's cock ripple inside her, the first pulse of come so hot that she could feel it. 

"Fuck," was all Yondu could groan in response, and he squeezed her ass, smirking as Penny yelped. "Move, girl."

Penny shot him a murderous glare, but braced her hands on Yondu's shoulders and her knees into the moss and started to ride him, as hard and as vicious as she could manage, clenching up whenever she was hilted, groaning whenever Yondu thrust up to meet her, rolling her hips at each rhythmic pulse of Yondu's cock. Zatoans didn't experience orgasm the way Earthers did, no sudden edge of pleasure: theirs was a continuous biological imperative, to pump their partner full of come until they were dry, and Penny fucking _loved_ it, filthy as it was. She hadn't quite been joking with the dick comments.

So maybe Penny really _was_ a little shallow. No one's perfect.

At the third pulse Yondu's moan hissed out behind clenched teeth, and he fumbled between the wet juncture of their hips, groping until he was rubbing and stroking her folds, rough fingers quickly growing slick from their fluids. Penny whimpered a harsh "Jesus _fuck_ ," and sped up, against Yondu's punishing thrusts, until she could feel the ache of it all, the scrape of Yondu's nails, the soil under her knees, the moss all gouged aside, the trembling pressure to her thighs as her peak screamed through her blood and shot into a single bright note of ecstasy. 

"Shit," Penny muttered, as she slumped against Yondu, catching her breath, and Yondu grumbled something and ground impatiently against her but didn't otherwise move, still pulsing, his face buried in her hair.

"We almost _ah_ fuck got a visitor," Yondu muttered, still breathless and strangled.

"Really? You were concentrating?"

"I'm always fuckin' concentratin'. Was that friend of yours. Gamora."

"Whoop. I'll apologise to her later."

"Don't bother. I think she watched us for a bit." Yondu slapped Penny's ass again, when Penny let out a startled burp of laughter. "You done resting? Get back to it."

"Mm," Penny rolled her hips, and grinned when Yondu cursed and jerked. "Say please." 

"Fuck off."

"Well, if you really want me to-" 

"No, Penny, fuck-"

"Kidding," Penny assured him, and leaned over to nip at his lower lip when Yondu glowered at her.

"You're _so_ paying for this later."

" _Darling_ ," Penny drawled, shifting up to rasp her teeth against the edge of Yondu's crest, laughing as Yondu snarled and dug his fingers into her hips, "Do your _worst_."

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: manic_intent  
> tumblr: manic-intent
> 
> my quest to write more and more obscure pairings, aha  
> also, it just occurred to me that this fic effectively de-anoned me for another peter/yondu minific on the meme. oh well.


End file.
